Today my mom would have been 77 years old. She died two years ago on August 12th. Even though I knew most of my life that mom would be dying while I was still fairly young, nothing prepared me for the void that she left.
One of my mother’s favorite scriptures was: “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us…”
I love you mom.
Hi, Connie
Your words about mom’s passing sounded like my heart. I want you to read some entries from mom’s last journal. (I was astounded to find out that no one had asked for it last Feb when we visited Dad, so after he dug it out of the basement, I took it.) These are just a few of the entries about you. There were lots about all of us.
October 16, 2002
How the time gets away from me! I walked out in the front yard early this morning, an all of a sudden, I missed Connie so much. I wanted her to be there that very minute and enjoy the beautiful morning, and share Cody’s cuteness with me. I thought about her all day…
December 29, 2002
Connie called and the next morning wrote us a letter saying Bryan had surprised her with a rocker recliner. She sounded happy. And it made me very happy…
March 16, 2003
Connie just called and asked if I had soe pieces of material so she could make some summer clothes for her baby. I told her I had some and also some old patterns. It was so good to talk to her about such fun stuff.
April 22, 2003
Today is Connie’s birthday, and we received a CD from her thta had a song on it that she wanted us to hear. It was so beautiul and I cried when I heard it. The words went like this:
Who can say for certain, maybe you’re still here
I feel you all around me, your memory’s so dear
Deep in the stillness I can hear you speak
You’re still an inspiration
Can it be? That you are mine forever, love
And you are watching over me from up above.
Fly me up to where you are, beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight to see you smile
If only for a while to know you’re there
A breath away’s not far to wher you are.
Here inside my dreams
And isn’t faith believing all power can’t be seen
As my heart holds you, just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me every day
Cause you are mine forever, love
Watching me from up above
And I believe that angels grieve,
And that love will live on and never leave
Fly me up to where you are beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight to see you smile
If only for a while to know you’re there
A breath away’s not far to where you are.
I know you’re there
A breath away’s not far to where you are.
April 27, 2003
Yesterday, I went downstairs to look for something, and I suddenly remembered when Connie came home from her mission. Connie came to Bloomfield a few days ahead of us, and returned to a basement full of trash and mice and a home that hardly resembled the one she left when she went on her mission. I was so, so stupid, not to see how really sick she was when we first got home. How awful that must have been for her to come back to Bloomfield to everything that had fallen apart here, right after things fell apart on her mission. How stupid and terrible that I could not see how badly she needed help. But still I am grateful that the Lord saw us through even those worst of times. Again, I believe in prayer. Among other things, prayer is what you o when you don’t know what else to do.
May 24, 2003
Connie called, all excited, because a short story she wrote was published. She sent us a copy. It is really good writing. I can remember her saying many times in her growing up years how she really wanted to write.
There are a few emails in the back that she printed out, and one of yours she wrote in capital letters PRIZE LETTER. It expresses love and support for mom and dad.
Anyway, I just thought you might like to know how much she loved you. I love you too.
Jeanne