Reflections and Rants

I went for my first well-woman’s check-up about a week ago. The doctor seemed to have a fabulous personality. After the exam began, he felt around and found a lump on one of my breasts. He had me feel it, and then said he wanted to get it checked it out. I remember distinctly where he was standing in the room, etc, and the fact that he barely touched my other breast did not escape me. He said he’d have them look at the lump in question. I suggested that it might be a good idea to just get a full mammogram done since I’ve never had one and my grandmother had breast cancer. He said that would be nice, but my insurance would not pay for a mammogram AND an ultrasound for the lump. A few days later I got a call from the well women’s center to set up the mammogram. When I asked them what was scheduled to be done, they said they really weren’t sure. I figured I’d find out when I showed up.

My first surprise was that my lump had somehow mysteriously moved from my right breast to my left. Hmmm…well I was pretty sure the right breast was the one the doctor had poked and prodded and had me feel. The nurse at the women’s center though seemed to think that perhaps I was the one who had made the mistake. After waiting extra time and arguing my case, I was allowed to state the lump was on my right breast. I forgot to ask about what they had planned for me that day, and of course they didn’t offer that information.

After having me undress, they took me to the mammogram room where my breasts were flattened, squeezed, and altogether abused. Then, they told me I had to come with them to do another procedure. Apparently this was the ultrasound that the doctor wanted me to have done to look at the lump. I told them that my insurance would only pay for one or the other, so if my mammogram was normal, I was not going to have the ultrasound done.

Several nurses at this point came to speak with me. One said she had never heard of such a thing. The other spoke to me as if I were a disobedient child, telling me she could not FORCE me to do it, but that they were just following procedure. They did have the courtesy to contact BCBS to find out whether or not both would be covered. Lo and behold, both were not.

So I left two hours later with aching breasts, no mammogram results (which I had been promised I would find out that day), and an additional reason to dislike the way health insurance often works out in America.

Bryan got these flowers for me the other day.

Cody had a program at the school the other night, and he sang and played instruments for some American folk songs. One of the songs they sang was the lullaby “All the Pretty Little Horses.”

Speaking of pretty horses, here is Anna riding one at a Halloween festival:

I couldn’t get the You Tube video to link correctly,
but if you copy and paste this sight, there’s a beautiful
version of “All the Pretty Little Horses”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwkCa-bcZ60

I have always wanted to find peace with myself, the people around me, and the world in general. I have decided to create a treasure trove of my own as well as others peaceful reflections.

This is my first poem I entitled “Upon Leaving Gossip.”

He said

She said

They said

Go

She said

He said

They said

Foe

They said

He said

She said

Friend

They said

He said

She said

I said

End.